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Challenging behaviour

Every child deviates at times from their parents’ standards and expectations: they have tantrums, scream, hit, break things, do not listen, do not greet, spill food, spit, close their ears and do not concentrate. All this may arouse anger, frustration, shame and embarrassment, to name a few emotions, in the parent.

Normal reasons for challenging behaviour include:

  • The surroundings and its noises.
  • Sensitivity to stimuli
  • Challenges of being understood
  • Matters relating to wellbeing, thirst and hunger among others

You should remember that when things get problematic, the situation is challenging, not the child.

A child’s challenging behaviour is often demonstrated by hyperactivity or impulsiveness. A child does not act that way out of spite or on purpose. When guided and as they grow, the children learn gradually to discuss, share and control themselves. On the other hand, some children need support from their parents to have more courage. Every individual is different. The parents should remember that the same methods do not work for all children. Parents find the best methods for different situations through trial and error.

Signals of possible need for professional intervention include the following:

  • The child continuously refuses to cooperate and does not care to observe home, day care or school rules.
  • The child does not learn from experience but repeats negative behaviour time after time disregarding parent’ different approaches of guidance.
  • Due to challenging behaviour, the child has difficulties focusing on studies.
  • The child’s behaviour is very unpredictable, fluctuating from one extreme to the other and therefore he or she has difficulties making friends. The child is alone at day care, school and home.
  • The child hurts others and gets into fights all the time.
  • The child steals and lies but feels no remorse.
  • Normal everyday routines, for instance waking and getting up, having a wash, dressing, going to bed, getting out of the door, continuously seem to be incredibly difficult challenges.
  • The child is very sensitive and gets upset extremely easily.
  • The child avoids all contact in the company of other children.
  • The child’s speech, behaviour or interests deviate clearly from those of his peers.

The following points are significant:

  • How long such behaviour has continued?
  • Does it happen on daily basis?
  • Are the parents repeatedly helpless or worried about the child’s behaviour?
  • If there are concerns, parents should talk, for instance, to early education, school, child health clinic or school healthcare staff. From the perspective of supportive measures, an early intervention is always the best. Very often solutions are found in cooperation.

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